The guilt I carry is something I have created to keep me in a circular routine away from accepting God’s love for me.  I live my life in a way that keeps me safe from being hurt or at least I think it does.  I keep away from doing fully what God wants and in turn I keep away from receiving all he has to give.  There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and this is a statement of truth as it is the word of God the Father.  I want to fully accept the law of the Spirit and change how I live my life.  The book of Romans, as I tell people, is a book written to believers about being slaves to sin.  The sad part about my life is that I have been so used to being a slave that I can’t see what God places before me.  When we see ourselves as slaves its hard to accept that we are adopted into God’s family.  The thing about adoption in the Jewish culture is that once you are adopted you cannot be disowned.  This is the purpose of Christ allowing us to know we have been adopted into his family.  I am loved by God and he wants to do all he can to show me his love.  I have known Jesus for quite sometime, but have constantly felt trapped on a fence between his will and my control.  I have come to understand that I have no control and my life is his.  I choose now to stop being selfish and to serve him as he sees fit.  I will no longer live in comfort of my doing but will choose to live in the radical shadow of Christ Jesus.  I pray and hope that my decision will be pleasing to God and that he will help me in being committed to a new way of life.  I want a life that glorifies him in all that I do from when I wake up in the morning to when I close my eyes to sleep at night.