Why is it when things just don’t feel right and you really feel like you should run, God comes and says STAY.. What? How can I stay when this is killing me, I feel like it is eating me away.  Then He says its not about you remember.  Be honest, how much of you have you really poured into this or into them.  You have given just enough and that is exactly what you are getting.  You are holding back as if you are trying to save yourself and its not working and hasn’t worked for 34 years.  I want you to serve me and to do it relentlessly and no you cannot run from the task I have given you.  You will stay and you will live your life according to me.  I am in awe and on my knees.  Jesus said, do you not remember the day you made the vow and submitted to me as your King.  I am that and more and you will live your life for me.  You made the choice and now you must live by your vows.  I am a collector of vows and will always see them through.  God says the time has come to put childish things away.  Your sin is melting away and leaves a stench that only I can remove, however, you must choose to have the fragrance of God upon you at all times so that the stench of sins death is not allowed.  God is no joke and he spoke to me twice today through 2 people I am very close to and love and respect a lot.  They both said the same thing, and god went one step even further and used the words I use when i speak to others who are struggling, just so I would know that it was Him.  I love God, I really do, but I no longer wish to love him my way, I want to love him as if there was no other person in this world that I love, I want my love for him to overwhelm my life is all of my pursuits and not for me, but for those round me and in my life.  This is a time when life is on alert and I can no longer be alright with being a back player in this game of life.  There are to many people that need guidance and love and the knowledge of knowing that through all things Christ is everlasting and almighty and yes He will guide you through your storms and He will sometimes direct you into another.  It is for Him and not for me.  I am expecting my life to change a lot in the next few months. I would appreciate all the prayers you are willing to extend my way.  This will not be an easy transformation, but it is one that has been a long time coming.  Amen.. and  Amen..