It is so amazing that even after knowing Christ for almost 20 years and following after him for the last 8 or nine years, he still can show us something new.  I can remember when I was young and in my teens, the promise I made that I would “never” get up and speak in front of people.  Now, my fear was always in that all eyes would be on me.  However, God has used a lot of awesome people in my life to help me realize, speaking in front of people is not about me.  It is about people and their chance to hear how God has worked on healing my heart and what he can do for theirs.  The best advice that I have heard up to this point is just show up and let God make it awesome.  I understand that I can’t just simply show up, I will do my preparation and I will be ready to speak on what God puts on my heart, but that statement takes the feeling of the pressure I put on myself away.   I have always prayed to be the Man of God I have seen my pastor of my church be as well as a few other pastors in my life time.  When I came back from Nicaragua I did feel a difference in my walk and it was in that feeling that the Evil one and my flesh decided to launch a full out attack.  In the end, God prevailed and not only did he protect me fully from the evil, but also from myself.  Then it has seemed at every turn an opportunity to speak about him just pops up.  Well, I have stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago and I know how awesome and just God is.  I am so thankful for the people he has put in my life who have been amazing in my walk, sometimes with the simplest of responses.  I know that God loves his beloved so much and I know he would protect them if what I had to say wasn’t right.  However, it is awesome to see how much he does love me and trust me to share his word and to share it the only way I know how.  Even though, tomorrow’s event is in front of only a few, I am prepared to take my stand and no longer wait on the sideline asking when I can get in.  The truth has been that I am and have been the 1st string guy since the start of this.  It has been on me to trust the gifts he has given me, accept them, let him love me and like a friend told me and reminded me this morning of something I always say ” LET GO and LET GOD!”  Selah!