The past year and a half has placed many obstacles in my way, especially in the area of my relationship with the Lord.  My heart was hardened after dealing with some issues with fellow Christians.  There was a lot of he said and they said kind of stuff.  It seemed the more I was involved the harder and harder my heart became. It didn’t take long for my flesh to realize its opportunity to pounce and it sure enough did.  I found myself just living life and concerned with my prayer life.  My interactions with Christians and the church became very scarce.  I was completing my daily routines and making sure I got by.  My heart reached a point where I even handed over things that were precious to me because I did not feel close enough to God to share them. I went to some dark places and I know I have written about that before, but I was there.  The place where when your in the dark you feel safe, but its because you know nothing good is going to happen.  The type of darkness that as long as you stay numb you cant feel the presence of the lack of the Lord in your life.   Well, in being in that place it led me to feel alone and grab a hold to my own understanding.  I realized spiritually I was drained and then emotionally I was destroyed.  As a close friend almost lost his life and praying for him and his family and praying to carry some of the burdens for them to the dealing with the stuff that happened at church. I was done, but my sin, flesh and the Evil one were not.

But,Yet Another Chance… This is all I can hear and sure enough as I learn to fall back in love with my first love, I can feel the layers being pulled away of my stone heart.  God’s love is never ending and much like Peter, I feel his re-upping of my discipleship.  A desire is building to want to know more and read more.  A desire is brewing and I can feel the change. Jesus definitely came to defeat death and he did it for me.  Life will have its ups and downs, but Christ, He is the same today, yesterday and forever.  This is a truth I am learning to hold onto and a white knuckle kind of grip on this truth.  No matter how many times I have said it, preached it or advised it, I rarely listened to this truth for myself.  He holds nothing against us, but more so He wants nothing but the best for us.  We are His, His Beloved. We are so near and dear to His heart.  My prayer is that I recover from this year stepping back and in the leap forward it propels me into the front lines of what it means to be a Christ follower.  I do so desire to hear Christ call me a faithful servant.  In the end, wherever you are in your life and whatever the circumstance, The Truth of Jesus’ Love will and can free you. AMEN

One Love, One King, All Christ!