The return of a son

There have been two times now in my life that events of tragedy or broken trust have drained me and turned me into the prodigal son.  Now I made the choices in both situations after believing I had trusted God to guide me through it.  The truth be told I didn’t trust him, I went off of what I “felt” was the right way to deal with it.  When that burden became to heavy I turned to all of what I wanted to and not to what God had provided for me.  I learned a long time ago that I need to be in love with Jesus the way he is in love with me.  Here I am with the Power of Christ on my side and I am turning to meaningless ways of dealing with my hurt and my issues.

However, here is the BEST part, on my second return home guess what?  JESUS is the father running off the porch to meet me.  Not only does he meet me but provides for me a feast of wisdom and knowledge of how I need to turn to him always.  He lets me know that he will let me turn away if that is what I feel I need to do, but more so he wants me to indulge in the love he has for me. Whether it is money, relationships, past sins or present troubles or victories, he wants me to know he is with me through it all.  It doesn’t mean I won’t feel certain ways, but it is in those feelings that I need to learn to sit.  This is stuff I have known from before, but again I made choices because of man and not God that caused my heart to harden and then to grow callused.  I never realized how cold and angry I was until someone in my family was gone and my reaction was like it was someone on the news.  That night I realized in my heart of hearts I was turned.   Jesus has provided for me a beautiful life and no matter how many turns I have taken for the worse he has been there to lead me back to the straight and narrow path.  It is a mission to remain here but so worth the cost.  As I finish let me tell you, there is an amazing comfort when Jesus starts to surface again in our lives and for me it starts when I am praying about something and to later get a call of confirmation from someone God uses in my life.

The power of hearing her voice confirm my prayers and is such a sacred and beautiful thing.  It is something I do not want to take for granted anymore.  I have returned to Christ and pray to fall back in love with my first love.  Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!

When we don’t understand Forgiveness

       The hardest moments in our lives are to forgive those who have wronged us or hurt us deeply. We tend to believe they do not deserve to be “let off the hook.” I believed this for many years because most of the time forgiveness is taught in church in a very sugar-coated way. The truth about forgiveness is us giving up our right for vengeance against those who have hurt us and leaving them in God’s more than able hands. One thing we don’t realize when we carry unforgiveness with us is that it sours our hearts and souls. It causes us to handle everything on our own and never truly trusting God. I have been there before and even recently realized how angry and hurt I was by others. It carried over into every part of my life, even where I was happy.
       It was when I wrote down each name of those who owned my anger and dislike and prayed to give up my right for vengeance for each of them and cross them out one by one. This allowed me to know they were all in my Saviors hands.  Believe friends my heart has been hardened and calluses cover it because of this. I’m in a slow process of freedom and Jesus is the reason. I will get back to my love affair with Christ because he never left I just chose to close my eyes. Well no more! I pray that you to will forgive those who have hurt you and realize it doesn’t mean they got away with it.. it just means Jesus will deal with it while you can move on in peace. Also know our God is big enough that if one of those relationships is supposed to be healed he will heal it. Ask him to break off those unhealthy soul ties and turn completely your eyes and heart on Jesus! Amen
One Love, One King, All Christ!

On the Road and In the Fire

I know it has been several months since I last posted and a lot has happened since last May.  As life would have it, I had some technical difficulties with the actual website.  That was a part of the problem.  The other part, well that was me.  What heaviness and unforgiveness I thought I had let go of, I DIDN’T.  I thought going to Trinidad for three weeks was going to heal me and my spirit and soul.  I am not going to lie I felt like a new man when I came back, but honestly I was hiding the truth of how my soul was feeling.  I realized that God truly wants me to take a break.  When I say that I do not mean from teaching or working, but for myself to heal and grow because if not I will continue to think the worst of people and be angry.  That isn’t fair to Jesus, because he places people in our paths that need to know him.  If I stick around and stay angry and do not find a away to come to peace with where I am, I will continue to Suffer.  I can’t believe how fast time flies and so many things happen that effect us directly.  Don’t get me wrong I know there is a a lot worse going on in this world than my problems, but spiritually that battle is the same.  The difference is they believe with faith the size of a mustard seed and I sit here believing in what I can do to change the outcome of something.  The answer to the latter is ABSOLUTELY Nothing.  If Christ is not in the picture then it might as well be a blank slate.  I am excited to release my right for revenge on all those who have hurt me and I am excited to feel close to Jesus again.  I am glad to be back and I hope your excited too.