This is not the first time I have sought after God to help fulfill the emptiness of my life.  However, this is the first time wisdom is being used in the process.  I am starting to realize I have learned so much in my choices that now, as I chase after God, I can truly surrender my thoughts to him.  I do not know for you but I am my biggest obstacle.  When I would deal with life my first reaction to any type of feeling would be to run and hide and numb it quickly.  I did not even want a thought that there could be a chance I could get hurt.  REALLY!!  What type of life have I lived til now if I never truly just let go and trusted God.  You see as I have started to allow God to be the lead in my life I have found more and more strength in my relationships.  I am just being myself and knowing that the CROSS paid for all my past, present and future sins I can live and love knowing that Jesus truly loves me.  Though I have known Christ for many many years and I have served him, I think in my experience this may be the first time I am grabbing a hold of the truth of his love for me.  There is always the choice to turn away and do it on your own and that has left me numb and with a callused heart in the past.

However, NOW and today I can feel the tenderness of my heart again and I can feel the joy of the Lord and hold onto the fact that he is my refuge and fortress.  I can sit with him and enjoy the feast even as my enemy stands across from me for battle.  My battle and War have been won, I am Victorious and now I must live as if I am Victorious.  Following after Christ is a life style change and not just a diet.  Anyone who has battled weight problems knows the difference.  We have all dieted and 100% of the time the weight comes back and then some.  It isn’t until we make a lifestyle change that the weight comes off and stays off.  This is so much a good example for me in being with Jesus.  My past have I have dieted on his word, used it when I needed it or felt like I was close but man, sin was always so appetizing that my one cheat day would be two, three then the diet was over and I was broken.  Now, that my lifestyle change is happening I eat of his word and praise every morning and pray without ceasing in every situation.  I do not feel the urge to sin, it is present, but the destruction it causes is not worth the risk.  I LOVE THAT JESUS LOVES ME!  I want to be excited about our time together and I want to feel with Christ like I do with my best and close friends and ultimately one day my best of best friends in my wife! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!