I could not control all of my emotions.  They were flying around at a million miles per hour.  I would shift from happy to sad to heavy to at peace.  All the while I had this pressure on my chest like I couldn’t take a deep breathe.  I prayed and prayed and listened to worship music.  I sang and prayed some more and it would not leave.  Now I am quick to medicate this feeling in my past and knowing now the wisdom I have gained from this, when I sin now, I CHOOSE IT!  WOW… This was huge for me to accept but in the same moment I realized how big and true the cross really is.  The feeling I had wasn’t the nervousness of new life or new relationships, It was the monster being starved and I hadn’t even given it a crumb in the last few weeks.  That feeling was overwhelming but I knew God could help me through it but it was tough.  I have come to realize in chasing after Christ, there is a price to pay and that is losing control of the thought that we have control.

I performed my second Funeral the other day and it was for a baby.  The only other one I had done before was for my mother.  This was heartbreaking and humbling because God still chose me even though I had been a prodigal son once again.  I run and run far when I need to and now I want to come back.  He threw me right into the fire, but as always he was there with me.  In speaking again I realized this is what he wants me to do.  He wants me to reach out to others and to share the gospel as it is supposed to be given.  Now with that being known the Devil has turned up the heat and I would say the reason for any fall on my part is forgetting when I fall make sure it is on my knees asking for help and NOT on your face as if you are ashamed and hiding from God.  We cannot hide and ultimately when we begin to feed the Lion of Judah our strength comes from a infinite power source of Love, Mercy, Grace and Peace.  It is with this conviction and the repentance of my sins that I choose to follow whatever door may open in the near future.  In your lives, my friends, starve the Monster and Feed the Lion! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!