Why is it that I do not want to change.  It feels like I am completely OK with where I am at spiritually.  Yet I wake up this morning and my soul is churning.  I am not at ease and I am going into prayer but almost with fear.  There is this feeling like I will lose who I believe I am if I trust to turn to Christ. If I truly give everything to him, including my sin.  This sin has been a part of me since I was a little boy, literally and has it’s hook in me deeply.  It has caused me so much pain and solitude over the last 22 years of my life.  I have fought through and hidden most of this but I am tired of hiding and tired of just making it through.  I have continually missed out on many opportunities that God has set before me because of my mindset and soul-set.  I want to walk out of the dungeon and it feels like I can’t even though there is no door on the hinges.  I can walk out, but if I walk out all the way then I lose my ability to get what I want and when I want it.  I have reached out for some help over the years, but ultimately I fight this alone because its my secret.  The problem with that lie is I know God wants me to serve him.  I know I have a purpose of reaching out to young people and talking to them about the realness of Christ and this World.  As I reflect back on a short motivational video about wanting to be successful, I believe I am finally in the place where that old man says I need to be.  He tells the young man, “You will only achieve success when you want it as bad and you need to breathe!” He tells him this after almost drowning him.  I do not want to drown I want to inhale deeply of the breath of Christ and experience true freedom.  I know I cannot do it alone and I pray that God guides me into the right people as they will become a part of my crown of life.  Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope there is something that connects with you! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!