What do you see when you see me?

I have always wondered what it is about me that draws people near.  I have always been someone’s close friend for as long as I can remember.  There was always someone in my life starting as young as age 3.  What is it that they see? why me? was I safe? Did they really like/love me?  I have long wondered what people saw but more importantly what my close friends have seen in me through my lifetime.  I have been blessed to have several old friends and a few new ones that trust me and truly care about me.  It never fails and for all the years I wondered the answer was right in front of my face.  They see the Jesus in me.  I believe strongly our souls connect and there is a feeling of peace and a whisper of “It is OK, My Beloved!”  I know when I gave up protecting myself by not fully trusting people in my life, I started to feel and hear that whisper.

We cannot truly love someone if we are not willing to let them hurt us.  That was so hard for me to accept, I was amazing at faking that I allowed people into my trust.  Now that I am willing to be hurt, it has created some amazing relationships for me in my life. There are people that know me, the real me with no mask!  My prayer now as I spend time with my Papa is that the one relationship I desire to happen and hopefully soon, in God’s time of course, will Explode this feeling and truth for both me and my future wife.  What I have come to realize instead of longing for the day that I will meet her I should be meticulous in becoming the type of Godly husband she needs me to be for her.  If I allow God to work on me and I focus on him then when she does come it will be such a special and awesome blessing!

I wrote a few weeks back about when we look at our reflection in the mirror we should see Christ and now my wonder of what that will look like and feel like has become truth.  He has blessed me with a kind, loving, funny and honest heart.  Then as I give it to him my soul surrounds and heals the brokenness and the Holy Spirit guides like a floating feather.  There are some areas I need to let go and let God, but thankfully He has provided teachers, mentors and friends to guide me.  I, my friends, am so humbled to answer the question “What do you see when you see me?” I hope you see Jesus! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Humbled by the Beauty of Trust!

There is always a special feeling when you are apart of something that is bigger than yourself in life. We strive for that for most of our lives.  Whether it be a family, a company, a team or even just a group of friends.  As I was in conversation with God the other day he revealed to me an amazing thing.  The people that are closest to me in my life are people who keep a “small circle of trust.”  God allowed me to see the kind of character he has given me that I would be able to break through that barrier for these friends.  They put a lot of trust in me as I do in them, but they do not trust many and I may actually be able to say they may only trust me outside of their immediate family.  My friends love God and strive to live the best they can to please him.  They are in the fire and trenches with me and struggle daily as they are able to share with me some of those times.  God has allowed me to become a listening an helpful ear to my friends and in turn, as the Proverb says, Iron sharpens Iron.  My friends have helped in molding me into the man I am today and they have been a huge rock in my foundation as I have grown closer to Christ.  I am so thankful for the trust that has been constructed between my small circle of trust and pray that my future wife will trust me even more as Jesus will be our foundation! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Promises of God

THANKFUL, THANKFUL and even more THANKFUL is what I am!  There is a peace of mind body and soul when you surrender fully to Gods promises.  The most important of all His promises to us is to love us unconditionally and forever.  I was recently confronted with some very sad news of a friend I taught with in my past two schools and actually met her my first year teaching.  She went home to be with Jesus after  battling cancer, for over 20 years I found out.  She was in her 40’s with a husband and children.  You would have never known her battle when you saw her because she always had a smile and masked her pain so very well.  She was holding onto the promises of God.  She knew these promises intimately because her life literally was on the brink of her last breath for a long time.  This discernment of her peace with God came from the Holy Spirit in me during a time of prayer for her family.  I did not know her well enough to know her relationship with Christ, which on my end I should have been more intent on sharing Jesus back then instead of focusing on Ole Woes Me!  My Woes are nothing to what my friend was going through.  We have to hold on to the promise God will take care of us as we reach out to those around us. They may just need a smile or a hug and sometimes even just a Hello!

As I am reflecting on my own life I decided to sit down and think about the impact God has allowed me to have in this vapor of a breath we call life.  By obedience in my younger years and not always in good standing of repenting of my sins, Jesus has touched so many lives through me.  Even in my darkness and brokenness He chose to use me.  I am truly humbled by His promise to love me and now as I transform willfully to His discipline and teaching I can sense a soul shift and growth in my life.  There is a difference in my peace of mind and in my humility toward Our Father.  I was recently reminded of my gift with kids, athletes, coaches and the such and I have wanted to run from that recently because I didn’t know how to give God my coaching mindset.  “How do I change that?” I would say, then I stop and look at all the changes that are already happening and realize, OH YEAH DUH!!  Give it to him!!

One of the convictions I was directed to by the Holy Spirit was many of the coaches I have crossed paths with over the years haven’t been reached out to by me because of me.  They wouldn’t talk to me so I wouldn’t talk to them.  I carried an ego and a chip on my shoulder but I think more and more I was just dealing with envy of others and a lot of “It’s All About Me!”  The funny thing is as we go around thinking people are thinking about us and we are not even a thought in those we are thinking about.  Instead of going with the flow I need to go against the flow and start to share the same promise that God has given me.  Let these coaches and kids know that God loves them dearly and be real and in the fire with them.  The more we know that God is in the fire and trenches with us the easier it becomes to love him back or better yet accept His love for us.

The reason for choosing to live this way is we are not promised our next breath so stop worrying about your tomorrow or your past or anything other than your today. Even in our today we should live moment by moment and not day by day.  As God is slow to anger we should be slow to grow in depth of his love and wisdom so that our soul is strengthened by every movement we make.  We cannot build on our past because it is finished and we cannot connect to our future because we don’t know it. All We Have Is Our Today!  We are called to take up our crosses daily because we need to be reminded of the only heaviness we should feel which is His love.  Truth be told that heaviness is a beautiful thing to carry and feel.  As I pray for my friends and family, I will be praying for all of you. That you live life abundantly as Jesus promised us and you can, with your last breath, say ” It Is Done!”  The peace of knowing you have given all your body, mind and soul to the One True God, The Lord Jesus Christ, who in all of His glory calls you His friend! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!