I want my desires
It is my life to control
My flesh shrivels and slowly expires
Never paying attention that I am rotting my soul

I serve you and I pray
Haven’t I deserved this right to sin
Amazing how subtlety from Him we sway
Woe’s me to how drudged and dirty I have been

It is plain for myself I truly do not care
Taking risk in my life that should have had huge cost
Imprisonment and death in this life would have been fair
However, God pours His mercy on me, His son, who is lost

I claim to be found in Him
That I accept His sacrifice for me
Yet my life of wickedness overflows the brim
Now, today, every night for the rest of my life I am on bended knee

Why do You pour your mercy
You have chosen to show me favor
“My desires” cause chaos and controversy
Yet ALL of scripture claims you want to be my Savior

I am so conflicted in my soul
This conflict, mind you, is of God design
Repenting of childish ways and relinquishing my illusion of control
That I may be led by He who turned water into wine