Beautiful Day of Remembrance!

I posted a video today while I was spending some time at the lighthouse in remembrance of my Mom. This day, as I said in the video, is usually very hard and sad. 15 years today she went home to be with Jesus. However, today I took a different approach and I focused on how my mom would want me to be living. She knows I miss and love her, but she also knows my weaknesses and where I struggle. She knows that when I am close to Christ he uses me in amazing and very humbling ways. I started my morning off talking to one of my closest friends and shared with him what today was. He told me the story of when his mom passed and how he felt her presence even though she was at the hospital and he was at work. His story was beautiful and I won’t go into detail, but little did I know it was God giving me a glimpse of what was to come.

I get to the lighthouse and it is beautiful and the ocean was a very dark blue. The sun was shining off of it and there was a nice refreshing breeze. I was listening to worship songs and looking at the water between the lighthouse and one of the houses in Stiltsville ( houses on the water in the bay). As I was admiring the scenery and just talking with God, I jumped off the seawall to head back to the bench. I had just called my dad and when I turned around two dolphins popped up, not 30 feet from me. I jumped back onto the sea wall and they came up together again, this time they came out of the water looking at me. I didn’t immediately relate it to my friends story but I thanked God for giving me the nod that He was there and so was my mom. It was such a pleasant moment and in the 14 years I have gone to the lighthouse, this is the first time I had an experience with dolphins. It was just very fitting and in remembering my mom, I could hear her laugh and see her smile.

I saw the beauty of creation, from the clouds to the sand. Everything has structure, everything has color and is vibrant. I wanted to sit and just take it all in and the only thing I could so was continue to Thank Jesus for today and to know my mom is ALIVE and well, just on the other side. We will all get a chance to see our loved ones again. Pray for the people in your life who don’t know Jesus and pray that they do get to know Him. Live your life to the full and let Jesus shine out of you! I miss my mom dearly, but I do know that she is where she needs to be and that’s with Jesus. 15 years have passed, but today was a good day!!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Our “BIRTH” Days are blessings!!

When we are younger we really do take for granted the blessing of another year. Most of the time we are focused on the things in life that bring anxiety, worry and fear. The other times we are focused on ourselves and what we think we need to do. We work so hard to make money and have success and if we struggle with our self-worth it is just another battle to add to the way of life. However, I have learned that our most important commodity is TIME! We can lose and gain money, success, fame and more. The one thing we do not gain more of is time.

When I was younger I did not like celebrating my birthday, I would find ways to avoid people knowing and if someone tried to set up a party or get together for me I would feel not worthy of it. I lived like that for a long time, but now I realize, because of the loss of several loved ones, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE and should be treated more valuable than Earth’s most precious stones. As a christian, we know that we have eternal life and live in Heaven, but God wants us to believe more than that. Jesus says in the bible that He wants us to Live life and have it to the full. He wants to give us our desires and our wants, but in that our faith must be solid. When we have faith and we claim the blessings that He promises, they will come true.

I turned 47 today and most of my birthdays I just treated as another day. What I realized is your birthday gives people a chance to celebrate you. You get a chance for people to show the love and respect they have for you. You can see people go out of their way to make you feel special. The world stops for a moment and you get to be loved on. There are so many people in this world who do not get to celebrate their birthdays because of the circumstances of life they are in. For those of us who have a community, let them love on you and allow Jesus to shine brightly as your soul is being blessed by those close to you.

I know that today is a blessing as I start my 47th year and I want to take this blessing and live the best life I can for Jesus. There is an amazing connection with the Holy Spirit that happens when you choose Him. A lot of time we feel it during worship, but if you take your time and let God work you can feel, see and hear the love and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Enjoy your birthdays and know that God wants you to feel like you deserve it because He took all the bad for you, so that you can live life to the full.

One Love, One King, All Christ

My Mom’s Last Gift to me

As I prepare for my 47th birthday this May I am so reminiscent of the last gift my mom gave me on May 17th, 2008. My birthday was 6 days before my mom went to be with Jesus on May 23rd, 2008. She was enduring 4 to 7 hour dialysis treatments, which were draining her completely. She wasn’t sleeping well, as a matter of fact she would sleep in the back room after my dad would fall asleep, so as to not wake him from her coughing. He told me about this a few years after. She always and I mean always put others first, but she always had Jesus at the top of that list. My mom did not have Dialysis on weekends, which brought her back almost to her full energetic, fun, loving self. We went to Outback as usual for Mother’s Day and it was a nice time together. I was going out of town for Special Olympics the Next Weekend and wanted to make sure I stopped by the house everyday that week of my birthday.

My birthday fell on the Saturday in 2008 and since I was going to be out of town I went by to see my mom everyday. Sometimes if I got there after 7 because of practice she would already be in bed and would be asleep. This was really a very hard thing to witness because the dialysis had really become like her paralysis. She would try and stay up to see me before she would go to bed and I could see how drained she was. I returned that Sunday which was the 18th and went to go and see her and spend the rest of the day. When I got home Sunday morning, there was a huge box and my dad had dropped off, it was a hammock for the balcony. This is not the last gift though, the last gift was my mom living out her servant heart.

I made sure to leave practice early on Monday the 19th. When I got to the house, my mom had made curry goat for my birthday. She knew I loved it and she wanted to make it for me. Now, the tradition was always 3,4 or 5 lobster tails, but this birthday dinner she wanted me to know how special I was to her. My mom was an amazing cook and learned all by watching her aunt growing up. The goat was a little tough, because she was to weak to tenderize it, but the flavor was unbelievable. She had also made some curry chicken for my dad and her. After I sat down, with my last supper from my mommy, I knew, well my soul knew something was up. You see for years, my mom would not let me see her hurt or broken, she was always smiling, even when I would see her after dialysis and I knew she was just tired!

This day was different, you see she made the curry goat on a day she went to dialysis. There I was sitting down eating the curry goat with some white rice, my dad sitting in his recliner. My mom had actually woke up when she heard me come in and she walked from the back bedroom to serve me the curry goat. She told me to get a table and sit down! Then as I was sitting and eating, she got up went into the kitchen and put 2 pieces of curry chicken on a small saucer. She ate one of the pieces of chicken and then for the first time ever, my mom got up and just walked back to her room. She didn’t say a word, she was just so tired! I remember it as if it was yesterday! It was only 3 days later that my mom would go home to be with Jesus. She loved me so much, but so so much that even in her brokenness she wanted her baby to be happy.

I want to live a life that allows me to want to put people first. That God would allow me to be a blessing to those I meet because of His presence in me!! Jesus, The Holy Spirit and God were intertwined into my moms soul and she lit up any room she walked into. Whether she was about to cuss you out or hug you so tightly, both came from the love she had for you. I am very appreciative of that gift she gave me and I know that I will see her one day again! Cherish every moment you have with your loved ones and when they are gone live as if they are watching you, because you know Jesus is!

One Love, One King, All Christ!