Terrible Feelings Please Flee
Well, this is something I have thought about for a while. It is almost a 100% guarantee that when I start to draw near to God I get these terrible feelings. My past seems to hit me in the face with a baseball bat. Now, I know how that feels cause it happened to me when I was about 12 and I was playing catcher and my friend decided to let go of the bat when he took a big swing!! Well, I didn’t get knocked out, but 20 stitches later and the scar under my eye reminds me of what that feels like. Now, in my spiritual life it seems these feelings just linger in waiting and when they anticipate a God move by me they pounce. I haven’t been in this alone, there have been people involved to hurt me a long the way and a good friend of mine reminded me that Satan will use everything and everyone to attempt to stop the good God is doing through us. That little bit of advice stuck with me. I have forgiven and moved forward but not on. However, I know in order for me to find my peace and joy again in God, I am going to have to truly surrender. When we get in these modes of life, sin sticks it nasty head in and then the numbness of life begins to thicken. You find yourself not eager to go to church or participate in events that you used to. Then Satan comes along and makes sure those people who use to contact you, don’t. So here are all these emotions, followed by work, family, everyday life and whatever else life throws at you. The answer is a resounding YES!!! I know Jesus paid it all and will carry this for me. Basically, I guess what I am saying is these terrible feelings of my past, being hurt and loneliness are all part of the excuses we make to not let God work. I am asking for your prayer to battle these feelings and also a prayer so that I can move on and again see the paths that Christ has laid before me!
One Love, One King, All Christ!